Updated June 23, 2023
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A sexual consent form is a written agreement that relays in clear terms the intent of two consenting adults to participate in sexual acts together. The form allows the couple to enter the date and time the activity is to occur and list the exact permissions made by the consenting party.
In case things go beyond what was originally intended, the consenter will have to mark that it will be ruled an accident with no repercussions or that the accident will be determined as assault. After the agreement is made it is recommended, although not required, to be signed with a witness present.
Main Purpose
A properly signed sexual consent form represents legal consent by an individual for acts that may involve intercourse, oral sex, and other related activities.
Creating a Consent Agreement (3 steps)
Step 1 – Talk Openly with Each Other
The Proposer (the person wanting to engage in sexual activity) and the Consenter (the person accepting an offer to engage in sexual activity) must be honest and open about the sexual activities they want and won’t allow. The consent of these activities holds a person accountable for their actions if they do not get explicit permission from the other participating partner. Celebrities and high-profile individuals should always consider signing a sexual consent form to prevent rape and false accusations. Because sexual activities are done in private settings, it’s hard to prove or disprove an accusation. Therefore, by having a sexual consent form, you are protected to engage in sexual activities with another person without worry.
Step 2 – Outline the Terms/Acts
The participating parties can decide which sexual acts they wish to perform ahead of time, allowing for a mutually enjoyable and safe sexual environment. Escalation due to physical attraction is often inevitable. The “Ratchet Clause” offers options for participants to add sexual activities to the existing list by entering them into the consent form or agreeing to them verbally. The sexual consent form includes an “Accidental Violation” section to ensure the safety and protection of both parties involved. Furthermore, the “Failure to Perform” section recognizes the possibility of an inability to perform the activities listed on the form and does not consider this a violation of the agreement.
Step 3 – Sign and Engage
Once both individuals are satisfied with the rules of the agreement, it’s highly recommended to sign this form in the presence of a witness. If a lawyer is aiding either party with this agreement, the witness attesting to the signatures should be of a third party. Once the agreement is signed and completed, copies should be given to both the Proposer and Consenter. Parties are then able to participate in the sexual activities therein at a chosen date.
Sexual Assault Victims
If either party feels they have been sexually assaulted, call 1(800) 656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN for confidential help.
If you are in an emergency call 911.
How to Write
Download in PDF, Microsoft Word (.docx), or Open Document Text (.odt).
I. The Parties
(1) Consent Agreement Date
(2) Proposer. The Proposer behind this document can be either Party however, it is recommended that the Party initiating this agreement be considered its Proposer. Supply the Proposer’s full name where requested.
(3) Consenter. The Party who shall review the conditions of this agreement and work with the Proposer for its completion will also need to be produced.
II. Time
(4) Time Of Activity. A certain level of organization will be needed to adequately consent to sexual activity ahead of time. The first condition that must be established is when both the Proposer and the Consenter agree to engage. To this end, furnish the time of day when the agreed upon sexual activity should occur.
(5) Date Of Activity. It will be necessary to also schedule the day the sexual activity should occur. Dispense the calendar date when the Proposer and Consenter agree to engage in the sexual activity.
(6) Availability. Since emotion can often play a role in sexual activity, the length of time that the two Parties will engage should be discussed. Furnish the number of hours that the sexual activity will be conducted on the day noted above beginning at the defined time.
III. Activities
(7) Full Body Touching. Naturally, some discussion regarding which activities bear the approval of the Proposer and Consenter and which do not carry such approval will be needed to complete this agreement. Any activity presented in the list displayed in the third article that bears such approval must be initialed by both the Proposer and Consenter while any item not initialed will not be considered an activity that both Parties consent to. For instance, the Proposer and the Consenter should initial the first item in this list if both agree that full body touching during the sexual experience is allowed.
(8) Kissing. If the Proposer intends to allow kissing then he or she should initial the first blank line in the second column. Similarly, this item will require the approving initials of the Consenter if he or she agrees that kissing is appropriate. Notice that this item will require that one of two checkboxes should be selected to indicate if an insertion of the tongue to a Partner’s mouth will be allowed.
(9) Digital Penetration (Receiving). The topic of the penetration of a body cavity using one’s digits (i.e. thumbs, fingers, toes) should be discussed. Both (or either) Parties can agree to that digital penetration may be received by initialing the third item.
(10) Digital Penetration (Giving). The Partners (either or both) can determine that a request to penetrate a cavity is approved by initialing the fourth item. Each of these statements on digital penetration will require that an approved list of orifices allowed be penetrated by a Partner be supplied.
(11) Oral Sex (Receiving). The fifth statement enables one or both Parties to approve of receiving oral sex.
(12) Oral Sex (Giving). The next approval regarding oral sex will allow one or both Parties to approve of giving oral sex to the other Partner.
(13) Vaginal Sex. If vaginal sex is appropriate and agreed to then the appropriate Party should initial the sixth item to show approval.
(14) Anal Sex (Receiving). If the Proposer and/or Consenter agree to receiving anal sex then the seventh item must be initialed. The Proposer may initial the first column to show approval while the Consenter should initial the second column if he or she approves of receiving oral sex.
(15) Anal Sex (Giving). Similarly, either or both Parties may consent to giving anal sex (so long as this complies with state law) by initialing the eighth item.
(16) Restraints. While quite a few items on this list can be initialed by only one Party (i.e. one Partner is open to receiving oral sex while the other does not wish to receive oral sex), it is strongly recommended that both Parties decide and agree upon whether restraints may be used. For instance, a Person with certain forms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) may not wish to involve restraints in any way.
(17) Allowed Devices. Some Partners may wish to use devices. If so, then it is recommended that this item is reviewed and agreed to by both Partners since, some devices may carry health risks. For instance, some devices (i.e. those applying electricity directly to the skin) may interfere with the operation of a pacemaker.
(18) Other Activities. If the Partners are interested in agreeing to other sexual activities, then each should be listed in the space provided in “Other Activities.” This list will only be consented to by the Party(ies) that provides his or her initials of approval.
IV. Contraception
(19) Proposer Contraceptives. Naturally, sexual activity may result in pregnancy or a disease. Therefore many Health Professionals encourage Active Partners to use contraception. This is often a chemical or physical form of protection against pregnancy, disease, or both. If the Proposer regularly uses contraception, then each form of contraception that he or she uses regularly should be defined where requested. Once done, continue to document exactly what contraceptive measures the Proposer will use during the scheduled sexual activity.
(20) Consenter Contraceptives. Article IV will also seek a report on the contraceptives regularly used by the Consenter and those that will be used during the activity being discussed. Two distinct statements have been provided for this presentation.
(21) Flexibility With Retroactive Approval. If both Parties agree that additional sexual practices or more time may be requested by either Proposer or Consenter, then select the second checkbox statement. If selected, both Parties must agree by providing their initials.
(22) Verbal Consent. If mutual verbal consent is the only requirement either Partner have to provide to allow an increase in or deviation from the agreed upon sexual activity (above) then the third statement of Article V should be submitted. Additionally, the Proposer and Consenter’s initials of approval will be required.
V. Ratchet Clause
(23) Strict Conditions. If both Parties wish to agree that under no circumstances may either engage in sexual activity unless it has been pre-approved above and that all such activity may only occur for the approved length of time on the scheduled date then select the first checkbox statement in Article V. This selection requires that both the Proposer and the Consenter initial their approval.
(24) Flexibility With Retroactive Approval. If both Parties agree that additional sexual practices or more time may be requested by either Proposer or Consenter, then select the second checkbox statement. If selected, both Parties must agree by providing their initials.
VI. Accidental Violation
(25) Considered Assault. Article VI will consider the scenario where non-consensual sexual activity occurs. If both Parties agree that any nonconsensual sexual activity can be deemed assault, then the first checkbox statement must be selected.
(26) Considered Accident. The second checkbox statement in Article VI should be selected if both Parties wish to agree that an incident of nonconsensual activity will be regarded as an accident and not an assault. Notice, this selection will not supersede the State’s definition as to what is considered assault.
Signature Execution
(27) Proposer’s Signature And Signature Date. Once this paperwork has been completed the Proposer should review it thoroughly. If he or she agrees with the terms and conditions of the sexual activities above, then the Proposer should sign and date this document to show his or her acknowledgment.
(28) Consenter’s Signature And Signature Date. The Consenter should read through this document to make sure it is accurate. If it fairly represents his or her intended consents for the sexual activity it defines, then he or she should sign and date this paperwork.
Optional Witness Verification
(29) Witness Signature And Signature Date. If a Witness has been obtained to verify that both the Proposer and Consenter have signed this document, then he or she will take control of this paperwork. If the Witness is an adult, impartial, and can adequately identify each Signature Party, then he or she should sign and date this paperwork as a testimony that both Parties legitimately signed their names.
